Pregnancy: Dropping the P-bomb (or Not)

With Mother’s Day coming next month, we wanted to share some of the key moments in our journey to motherhood.  My previous pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage and while the pregnancy was unplanned, and it would have been a difficult time for me to raise a baby, I was devastated beyond my imagination.
I was going through an especially stressful time in my life and not menstruating for 3 to 4 months at a time was “regular” so I hadn’t considered the possibility that I was pregnant when I had a bad flu and was crippled by fatigue.  I was randomly griping about my never-ending flu symptoms and fatigue when someone suggested I take a pregnancy test.  To my surprise I was more than two months pregnant!

MISCARRYING

Boy did I freak out and started worrying- my diet was atrocious (pretty much just gallons of diet coke to battle the fatigue) and I had taken so much cold and flu medicine!! I stopped drinking all caffeine and medicine and started taking prenatal vitamins immediately but a month later, I felt a strange dropping sensation and I started to worry.  That night, I tried hard to sleep but I couldn’t nudge the feeling something was wrong.  Around 3 AM, I felt the urge to use the bathroom and that’s when I started to bleed.
It was difficult news to share, especially with my dad who really wanted more grandkids and was extremely disappointed.  He is superstitious and had strongly voioced that I should not have revealed the pregnancy before the second trimester so this was his I told you so.
It’s been a decade since that horrific night but I still miss and think often of my unborn child.  A few months ago I was going through old photos and came across the belly pictures I had started taking and couldn’t decide if I should keep or delete them.

FINALLY PREGNANT AGAIN

Unlike Melissa and Stephanie, it was years after planning to start a family before I was pregnant again.  Despite the elation of finally getting pregnant, and wanting to shout on rooftops, I was also hesitant to announce my pregnancy given what had happened.  In fact, I felt like I was holding my breath from the moment I found out I was pregnant till months after my daughter was born.
35928119_s

Photo by: Yuliya29

TELLING IMMEDIATE FAMILY & CLOSE FRIENDS

I went with the need-to-know principle and less than a handful of people knew right away.  Needless to say, I did not tell my dad until the beginning of the second trimester.  At this time, the Mister and I told our immediate family members as well as we felt if we waited any longer, some may feel slighted.
The disappointment one family member expressed when she found out that I was pregnant and not just gaining weight was hilarious.

BEING DISCOVERED AT WORK (AT ALMOST 6 MONTHS)

At work, I had called HR and they said as long as they have the due date, I just work with my manager on coverage.  There were no timelines it seemed (I called three times and never got an actual answer) both the paper work for maternity leave and the actual leave doesn’t start until after I give birth and not something I can do ahead of time so I had planned to talk to my manager after the 20 week gender revealing visit but my manager and I played meeting tag a few times and left it at that.  Besides, it had become almost a game hiding my growing bump successfully.
But people started murmuring when I was almost 6 months pregnant.  It ended up being people coming to my office to “ask” and probe instead of me making an announcement.  One coworker said she had a suspicion much earlier because I had switched from my usual high heels for flats as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

BABY POOL

Since it was obvious now that I was pregnant, I set up a baby pool on expectnet and sent it to all my friends and family because I thought it was a fun way to make the announcement but several friends thought I was annoying for setting up the baby pool.  So my attempt at a fun announcement backfired, but it was a relief when everyone finally knew because it was hard keeping secrets.
So my attempt at a fun reveal was a big flop, but I think Melissa executed it perfectly.  Did you check out her announcement post?

Pregnancy Announcement – Happy Thanksgiving! We’re Adopting Another Dog.

With Mother’s Day coming up, we thought it would be fun to share a few things about our journeys to becoming moms.  So here goes….this is how we made our pregnancy announcement….

My husband and I were lucky in that it was not really difficult for us to conceive.  It only took a few months once we decided to start trying.  But even though it was only about 3 months or so before we saw those double lines on the pregnancy test, it was still disappointing those months when we were not successful.  I dreaded my monthly visit from aunt Flo a little more than usual.  When she was late, I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I waited…and waited…for maybe about a week before I took a test.  And when I did, I still wasn’t so sure because that second line that appeared was so darn faint!  Why couldn’t they make these tests better?!?  I mean, you would expect the second line to be the same intensity as the first, no???  So what was I to do?  Google of course!  It  confirmed that if you see a second line, the test is positive, no matter how faint it was.  Even after that, I was still in disbelief.  I knew that miscarriages were common (1 out of 6 women have a miscarriage during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy) so I waited a few more weeks before I went to the doctor’s to confirm.  It wasn’t until my first ultrasound, when we saw the little tiny heart beating that I believed there was a tiny human being growing inside of me.

During these weeks, both my husband and I were tight lipped about our developing little babe.  We didn’t even tell our parents or siblings.  We wanted to wait until the second trimester since the risk of miscarriage is lower after the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.  It was Thanksgiving around the start of my second trimester so we thought we would tell our families at our Thanksgiving gatherings.  With my family, we thought we would play with them a little before we told them.  Yes, we are cruel that way.  We made them wait 7 years, what’s a few more minutes so that we can have some fun with them? 😉   My mom and sister have been bugging us about having children the second after we got married.  I am not exaggerating.  As the years went by and we remained childless, their hopes decreased and they started to bug us less.  A few months before we got pregnant, we adopted a dog.  I’m sure when we adopted our dog, Rocky, that their hopes of us having children decreased even more.  So, during our Thanksgiving dinner, we told them that we were going to adopt another dog and that we had a picture of the dog to show them.

2014-10-13 04.06.41

When we showed them this ultrasound, my sister instantly burst into tears, while my mom didn’t understand and asked, “Rocky’s having a baby?”  Silly mom, Rocky’s a boy!  Lol.  We had to explain that we were the ones having a baby, which led to more tears for all.

With my husband’s family, we weren’t as cruel.  Before dinner, we gathered everyone to take a picture, with hubby behind the camera pretending to take a picture but all the while recording a video of the whole thing.  Instead of having everyone say cheese, he told them to say “Happy Thanksgiving” and then with the next photo, he had everyone say, “We’re having a baby!”.  They all repeated, “We’re having a baby…….whaaaaat??”  It took a while after they said it before they realized what it meant.  And once again, as you can imagine there were more tears. 🙂

How did you announce your pregnancy?

Did you know that Mother’s Day was created by a woman named Anna Jarvis, who never had any children?  For more fun Mother’s Day facts, see yesterday’s post. 🙂

 

 

Lead up to Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, a celebration of motherhood that falls on the 2nd Sunday in May in North America, is only a month away. What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

THE FIRST MOTHER’S DAY

According to the History channel it became an official US holiday in 1914 due to the efforts of Anna Jarvis.  Jarvis, who was childless her entire life, created Mother’s Day in 1908 to celebrate and honor the sacrifices mothers made for their children following her mother’s death in 1905.  A church service was held in observation of Mother’s Day and Jarvis selected the carnation, her mother’s favorite flower, as a symbol of Mother’s Day.

Pink Carnations

photo by Rawlik

The most likely precedent of Mother’s Day was the Christian festival of Mothering Sunday, held on the fourth Sunday of Lent, where the faithful would return to their “mother church” for a special service.

MOTHER’S DAY GIFTS

The holiday was originally church service and visiting one’s mother, but it quickly became commercialized. Now, when I hear Mother’s Day, I almost automatically expect a third word to follow: brunch, or gift, or card, or flowers.  Billions are spent on Mother’s Day flowers each year, with Mother’s Day in second place for the most holiday floral sales, after Christmas/ Chanukah and ahead of Valentine’s Day according to aboutflowers.com.

Flower Boquet for Mom

Photo by pixbox

And here are a Few Quick Mother’s Day Card Stats:
Mother's Day Card Stats

Growing up, we didn’t really celebrate Mother’s Day. My parents were self employed in retail so they always worked on Mother’s Day. There was no brunch and our family never really did cards or presents. I vaguely remember getting mom a cake some years, but I can’t be certain.

After I moved away from home, I started calling. Then when I started working, I began sending flowers.

And before having my daughter, this was what I expected that my future kids would at least do. They better call and get flowers for me. I thought I would be sad if they didn’t, but now that I have a daughter, my view on this holiday changed a little.

I love my mom even more, and want to do more to show her my love, gratitude and appreciation, but I also no longer expect anything on Mother’s Day. My daughter is the greatest gift I could have and having her love brings me happiness. If she didn’t love me, then I rather her not just gesturally send me a card or gift. It will only make me cry. Emotional yeah?

I had thought that the powerful emotional effects from pregnancy hormones ended after giving birth but something must have carried over for me. I feel I’m more emotional now that I’m a mom; after Melissa shared her amazing home-birth story with me, I started reminiscing about my own daughter’s delivery.

Since Mother’s Day is only a month away, all of us here at Sinks Full of Dishes wanted to take the next few weeks sharing some parts of our journey to motherhood and the events that ultimately changed our roles on Mother’s Day.  Please come back and join us!

In the mean time, check out this pretty infographic from ftd.com:
Mother's Day Flowers Infographicsource: FTD.com